"He who ANGERS you, conquers you."
We all may have come across many situations where our patience has been tested. It could have been due to someone arguing with us, insulting us, mistreating us, not listening to us, not following our directions, etc etc the list could be endless. How we, as Muslims, react under this situation would become a representation of what Islam is to the Non-Muslims. If we shout, curse, swear, hit, or break things around us, then we are wrongly portraying the image of an ideal Muslim.
"He who ANGERS you, conquers you."
We should follow the guidance given in the Qur'an and Hadith in regards to how we should manage our ANGER - which is a common human emotion:
"The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allâh orders the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend. (34) But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient - and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of happiness in the Hereafter i.e. Paradise and of a high moral character) in this world. (35) And if an evil whisper from Shaitân (Satan) tries to turn you away (O Muhammad [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam]) (from doing good), then seek refuge in Allâh. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower." (The Qur'an: 41.34-36)
"And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (Allâh) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. "(The Qur'an: 25.63)
Rasulullah [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam] passed by some people who were wrestling. He [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam] asked, "What is this?" They said: "So-and-so is the strongest, he can beat anybody." Rasulullah [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam] said, "Shall I not tell you who is even stronger then him? The man who, when he is mistreated by another, controls his anger, has defeated his own shaytaan and the shaytaan of the one who made him angry." (Reported by al-Bazzaar, and Ibn Hijr said its isnaad is saheeh. Al-Fath, 10/519)
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah [RadhiAllahu Anhu] that a man said to Rasulullah [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam]: “Advise me.” He [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam] said: “Do not get angry.” He repeated his question several times and He [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam] said: “Do not get angry.” (Bukhaari #5765)
‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib [RadhiAllahu Anhu] said: It may be known whether a person is really patient at the time of anger. The beginning of anger is madness and the end of it is regret, and anger cannot be justified by offering a humble apology. Calamities may come because of anger. It was said to al-Shu’bi: Why is a person who is quick to get angry also quick to calm down, and the one who is slow to get angry is slow to clam down. He said: Because anger is like fire; that which is easier to start is easier to extinguish.
So, how should we [Muslims] manage our ANGER as per the guidance from the Qur'an and Hadith (not in any particular order):
1.Remember Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala)
“And remember your Lord when you forget” [The Qur'an: 18.24] Usually in times of anger, we tend to forget Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala), therefore forcing ourselves to remember Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) at this time will Insha'Allah remind us of the guidance given for managing anger.
2.Seek refuge from Shaytan; Turn away; Show forgiveness not revenge
“Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e. don't punish them). (199) And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaitân (Satan) then seek refuge with Allâh. Verily, He is All-Hearer, All-Knower. (200) Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqûn (the pious - see V.2:2), when an evil thought comes to them from Shaitân (Satan), they remember (Allâh), and (indeed) they then see (aright). (201)"(The Qur'an: 7:199-201) Say "Audhu billahi minash shaytan nir-rajeem." - Translation: I seek refuge in Allah from Satan the outcast. Turn around and walk away if you have to and come back only when your anger is under control.
It was narrated that Abu Dharr [RadhiAllahu Anhu] said: Rasulullah [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam] said to us: “If one of you gets angry when he is standing, let him sit down, and if that does not take away his anger, then let him lie down.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4782; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
4. Be Silent
Rasulullah [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam] said: "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 1/329; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 693, 4027)."This is because in most cases, the angry person loses self control and could utter words of kufr (from which we seek refuge with Allaah), or curses, or the word of divorce (talaaq) which would destroy his home, or words of slander which would bring him the enmity and hatred of others. So, in short, keeping silent is the solution which helps one to avoid all that."
5. Extinguish it with Water
AbuWa'il al-Qass said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and performed ablution, and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported Rasulullah [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam] as saying: Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution. (Abu Dawud 4766)May I suggest drinking water as well to cool down
6. Imagine the Respect you gain in this World and the Reward you gain in the HereAfter
Rasulullah [SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam] said: “Allah will not increase a person who forgives others except in honour.” (Muslim, 2588)Remind yourself of how much respect you can gain by controling your anger and handling the situation with tolerance as compared to the respect you can lose by yelling, cursing, swearing, hitting, etc.
There are so many more Ayat and Ahadith in regards to anger, however I will end this article here since it has already gotten so long and I do not wish the reader to skip over such precious guidance.
Lastly, however, I want to leave you with a quote from one of the literary figures: "Beware of the pride of anger, for it leads to the humiliation of apology."
JazakAllahu Khayran for reading till the end. Insha'Allah May we all follow this guidance given in the Qur'an and Hadith related to anger in our daily life.
and Allâh (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) knows best.