Who Do You Sit With
by :A.S. Zod.
Brothers and Sisters! Fear Allah
in secret and in public, do not transgress His limits and do not
dare anything disobedient to Allah.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
who fears Allah with obedience to Him, (by abstaining from sins
and evil deeds and by performing righteous good deeds), and is patient,
then surely Allah makes not the reward of the good-doers be lost."
"O you who
believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die only as Muslims
in a state of Islam with complete submission to Allah."
Al Imran 3:102
"O you who
believe! Keep your duty to Allah, fear Him and speak always the
Truth. He will direct you to do righteous good deeds and will forgive
your sins. And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, Sallallaahu
Alayhi Wasallam, he has indeed achieved a great achievement - i.e.
he will be saved from Hell-fire and made to enter Paradise."
Al Ahzaab 33:70-71
Allah Almighty created man, and made
socialising a part of his nature. Man therefore, either associates
with the righteous, or with the wicked, and if he does not associate
with people, then he has a relationship with the jinns, who will
call him to do evil and lead him astray. Or, he will have a relationship
with numerous material things in the form of the television, video
tapes, music, magazines etc. by which he will be entrance, and this
usually results in a negative attitude in his behaviour.
People tend to sit with those who
have the same nature as them. The good person is inclined to mix
with the good, while the bad person is inclined to mix with the
The Qur'an urges us to choose the
good friend. In Surah At Tawbah it states:
"O you who
believe! Be afraid of Allah, and be with those who are true in words
At Tawbah 9:119
In Surah Al Kahf there are a few
lessons to be considered in the following Verse where Allah says:
1. "And keep yourself
patiently... - therefore socialising with people showing moral rectitude
is a type of worship that requires patience."
2. "..With those who
call on their Rabb, morning and afternoon... - these are the characteristics
with which we should choose our friends."
3. "..Seeking His face...
- this is with reference to sincerity."
4. "..And let not your
eyes overlook them... - Here Allah is telling the Prophet, Sallallaahu
Alayhi Wasallam, not to overlook the righteous people, because if
he did, then he will certainly be with the bad."
That is why Allah Almighty says to
the Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam, not to: "..desire
the pomp and glitter of the life of the world. And obey not him
whose heart We have made heedless of Our Remembrance, one who follows
his own lusts and whose affair have been lost."
If these orders by Allah Almighty
are directed to the best of His creatures, the Prophet, Sallallaahu
Alayhi Wasallam, because He cares about his heart, then what can
be said about us being affected by those who follow their own lusts.
The Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam
said, "Do not take someone as a friend, unless he is a believer,
and nobody should eat your food unless he is pious."
From this we can gather why our pious
predecessors used to be specific in choosing their friends. They
even sometimes made supplications to Allah to let someone pious
support him in acts of worship. The Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi
Wasallam said, "A man becomes like the one with whom he associates
with, so be aware of who you mix with."
The friend of a believer should possess
certain qualities such as intelligence, good moral standards and
must also not be an innovator in religion. He must not be a Faasiq
(disobedient Muslim) - because the faasiq is someone who acts
immorally and sinfully and does not fear Allah. Hence he can not
The benefits that can be acquired
from a righteous friend:
Reward and merit -
In a Hadeeth by Abu Hurayrah (RA), the Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi
Wasallam said, "Allah has some angels who look for those
who celebrate the Praises of Allah on the roads and paths. When
they find some people celebrating the Praises of Allah, they call
one another saying, 'Come to the object of your pursuit'. He added,
"Then the angels encircle them with their wings up to the
sky of the world. " He added, "After those people have
celebrated the Praises of Allah, and the angels have gone back,
their Rabb asks the angels - though He knows better than they
- 'What do My slaves say?' The angels reply, 'They say: SubhaanAllah,
Allahu Akbar, and Alhamdulillah.' Allah then says, 'Did they see
Me?' The angels reply, 'No! By Allah, they didn't see You.' Allah
says, 'How would it be if they saw Me?' The angels reply, 'If
they saw You, they would worship You more devoutly, celebrate
Your Glory more deeply, and declare more often Your freedom from
a resemblance to anything else.' Allah says to the angels, 'What
do they ask Me for?' The angels reply, 'They ask You for Paradise'.
Allah says to the angels, 'Did they see it?' The angels say, 'No!
By Allah, O Rabb! They did not see it.' Allah says: 'How would
it be if they saw it?' The angels say, 'If they saw it, they would
covet it much more, seek it with greater zeal and would have greater
desire for it.' Allah says, 'From what do they seek refuge?' The
angels reply, 'They seek refuge from the Hell-Fire.' Allah says,
'Did they see it?' The angels say, 'No, By Allah, O Rabb! They
did not see it'. Allah says, 'How would it be if they saw it?'
The angels say, 'If they saw it they would flee very far from
it and would have extreme fear of it.' Then Allah says, 'I make
you witnesses that I have forgiven them'". Allah's Messenger,
Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam added: "One of the angels will
say, 'There was so-and-so among them; he was not one of them,
but he had just come for some need'. Allah will say, 'These are
the people whose companions will not be reduced to misery.'"
Knowledge and information.
Imam Maalik reports that Luqmaan Al Hakeem advised his son by
saying: "O my son sit with the scholars and approach them
eagerly, since Allah enlightens the heart with the light of
wisdom in the same way Allah enriches the earth by supplying
it with rain."
Reason and consultation.
Every person needs a friend who can advise him in his interests
and welfare and most importantly his Deen, and to be away from
the hypocrites who really do not mean what they say or have
some other motive for their friendship other than to please
Virtuous morals and
generosity. The Hadeeth mentioned earlier regarding whom
you should mix with describes this issue, and there is a famous
saying that says, "Tell me who your friends are and I will
tell you who you are."
Humbleness and submissiveness.
The Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam used to sit with the
poor and those deserving pity.
If, however, you did not
benefit from the morals and knowledge of a righteous friend
morally, you would have at least benefited from his good
The company of those
righteous increases your goodness. Abu Moosa Al Ash'aree
(RA) narrated that the Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam
said, "The example of a good companion who sits with you
in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller
and the blacksmith's bellows or furnace, from the first you
would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows
would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad
nasty smell thereof."
If you do not find knowledge and
morals in a person, then you should revert to the Qur'an, to other
books of knowledge, to tapes from well-known scholars for companionship.
In Surah Al Israa' it says:
"And We sent
down from the Qur'an that which is a healing and a mercy to those
who believe, and it increases the Dhaalimoon - the wrong-doers,
nothing but loss. Some of the pious predecessors use to accompany
the dead Companions by reading their biographies, since this increased
their faith and an example to follow."
Al Israa 17:82
Know that if friendship was founded
on sincerity and for the sake of Allah, then Allah will accept it
and honor it. If it was based on worldly matters, then Allah will
reject it. Az Zukhruf it says:
that Day will be foes one to another except the Al Muttaqoon - the
pious and righteous who fear Allah much".
Az Zukhruf 43:67
In Surah At Tawbah Allah says:
"O you who
believe! Be afraid of Allah and be with those who are true."
At Tawbah 9:119
In Surah Al An'aam Allah says:
alone those who take their religion as play and amusement, and are
deceived by the life of this world".
Al An'aam 6:70
The Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam,
and many of our pious predecessors warned us about the bad friends
and described them as people of lust, who believe in magic, the
hypocrites who back-bite, and those who engage in false conversation
about the Qur'an.. In Surah. Al An'aam Allah says:
you see those who engage in a false conversation about Our Verses
of the Qur'an by mocking at them, stay away from them till they
turn to another topic. And if Satan causes you to forget, then sit
not you after the remembrance in the company of those people who
are the Dhaalimoon - the wrong-doers".
Al An'aam 6:68
In Surah An Nisaa it states:
"And it has
already been revealed to you in the Book that when you hear the
verses of Allah being denied and mocked at, then sit not with them,
until they engage in a talk other than that; but if you stayed then
certainly in that case you would be like them."
An Nisaa 4:140
The bad person whom you took for
a companion will make you say on the Day of Judgement as is stated
in Surah Az Zukhruf it states:(43:38-39)
between me and you were the distance of the two Easts or the East
and West - a worst type of companion! It will profit you not this
Day as you did wrong and that you will be sharers in the punishment."
Allah mentions two examples of friendship
in the Qur'an:
A person who took a disbeliever
as an example to resemble and died without repentance. Allah says
about him in Surah Al Furqaan Allah says:(25:27-29)
"And remember the Day when
the Dhaalimoon - the wrong-doer, will bite at his hands: he
will say, Oh! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger
Muhammad, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam! Ah! Woe to me! Would
that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend!"
A person also took a disbeliever
as an example, then Allah bestowed His mercy upon him and he
repented. In Surah As Saaffaat it states:(37:51-57)
"A speaker of them will
say, Verily I had a companion in the world.(51)
Who used to say, Are you among
those who believe in Resurrection after Death.(52)
That when we die and become dust
and bones, shall we indeed be raised up to receive reward or
punishment according to our deeds?(53)
The man said, Will you look down?(54)
So he looked down and saw him
in the midst of the fire.(55)
He said, By Allah! You have nearly
Had it not been for the Grace
of my Rabb. I would certainly been among those brought forth
We ask Allah Almighty for forgiveness
in anything we may have done that transgressed our duty. To make
our hearts firm on His Religion and make our lives end with the
True faith. To help and guide us and to give us the ability to learn
and understand His True Religion. To apply it throughout our daily
lives, then preach it to others, and grant us His Mercy in this
world as well as in the Hereafter.
May Allah send His Salaat and Salaams
upon our Prophet Muhammad, Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam, upon his
family, upon his noble Companions and all the rightly guided people
from the day of Creation to the Last Day . Amen.